10dp5dt or 4w1d pregnant!

I am safely outside of my freak zone now.  Well, maybe not all the way out.  But I'm definitely peeking outside the zone, with firm plans to completely step outside.  Where am I stepping to, you ask?  Well, obviously another freak zone.  But it is a completely different one, so I call that progress.

My test lines have definitely been darker throughout the week.  Not a steady progression like the first time.  More of a stair step approach, with no change for a bit and then bam!  Three shades darker the next day.  So I do feel like I'm safely past the chemical pregnancy concern.  Once we have the beta blood test this weekend, I'll move fully into praying for healthy heartbeats in about 2 1/2 weeks.

(Side note:  isn't that still amazing?  I'm barely pregnant.  And in only 2ish weeks, the heart(s) should be pumping away.  I'm still in awe, and hope that I get to fully experience it this time).

Another positive sign is that my pregnancy symptoms are already stronger than they ever were last time.  I have nausea every day.  The worst was yesterday after dinner.  I had no problems throughout the day, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks after dinner.  I don't actually throw up, but am super gaggy and just generally ill at ease.  It has already  kicked in this morning too, so I think I'll certainly be graduating to full all-day discomfort in the next couple weeks.   I LOVE IT! For now.

I did tell T that I do reserve the right to be miserable sometimes.  I'm not delusional enough to think that everything in pregnancy will be unicorns and rainbows just because I wanted it badly.  I'll still be uncomfortable and icky, and I get to complain about it if I want.  That won't mean I don't want to be pregnant.  It will just mean that I want that particular phase to slightly shorten itself.  Because no one smiles while they are vomiting.  (If you do, you are just plain weird.  Share your secrets with me).