I've been horrible at keeping this blog up to date this round, I know. Here is the catchup:
I'm on day 9 of the cycle, and day 7 of stimulation. So far, it looks like I'm going a little lower and slower than the prior cycles, with more follicles to show for it. In both the prior cycles, we stimmed for 7 days and triggered on the 8th day (with retrieval two days later). By our Sunday checkup (today, day 7), the tech both times would say they were almost positive that we would trigger the following day. But today, she wasn't so sure. It's still feasible, but our follies are growing so nicely and evenly that they may let it go another day. I don't want to get our hopes up, but it seems we may have some more cooking in there than prior cycles.
My feet were getting a little itchy last night, but I could decide if it was just allergy spring weather, or my progesterone was starting to creep up. If it is the latter, then we'll end up having to cancel this transfer like last time and wait for the frozen transfer. Again, I'll be disappointed given the extension in timing, but I do know that frozen transfers work! We'll know by tomorrow evening what we're dealing with.
No matter what, should be a big week, we just don't know if retrieval will be Wednesday or Thursday.
It is another dreary rainy day here, so T and I have already chopped up some veggies and browned some lamb to make irish stew in the slow cooker. We threw some parsnips in there, which I really haven't cooked with before, so we'll see if we are fans. Then I am going to try my hand at preserving lemons, so I have on hand to make a Moroccan chicken in a few weeks. I'm a little nervous about that, but figure it's worth a shot. Ultimately we plan to be pretty lazy the rest of the day while dinner simmers on its own. Not a bad way to end the week at all.
Happy Sunday!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Friday, April 5, 2013
Just hanging out...turning into a guy
I wrapped up my testosterone gel a couple days ago, and have "graduated" to the testosterone patch. I wear it for exactly 11 hours a day, for 5 days (through Sunday). At this point, I don't think I have a beard, or worse, a penis, but I guess time will tell.
We actually made a tough decision to not purchase our meds from our local pharmacy this round. For the first IVF, we looked around a little and decided to pay a little extra (I think it worked out to be about $200-300) to stay local. The other options would be online. We thought it was nice to see an actual person for questions -- and as my fellow local IVFers know -- the pharmacist is the epitome of hilarity. I swear that she could totally get her own reality show dealing with us poor infertiles. She may also be slightly bipolar, but I always left the pharmacy knowing exactly what was going on. We also like supporting local business, and the pharmacy in town that has gotten into the infertility gig is a family-owned place near downtown. We just felt good about it.
But based on some chatter on some of my forums, I did decide to review the online pricing vs the local shop this time -- and we would save over $1,000 by going online. Given that we know so much more about what we are doing now, that was a no-brainer. So sorry lovely town pharmacy; we are at the point that $1,000 means the world to us!
We had our baseline ultrasound yesterday to make sure I was properly suppressed from the birth control and ready for simulations. I had 5-10 follicles ready to grow on one ovary, but less than 5 on the other. If we can get good growth and maturity from those follicles, we'll be fine and dandy, even if they are on the low side to start.
For full disclosure, I'm still struggling with the "unfairness" of it all, for lack of a better term. I alternate between bouts of sadness, anger and bitterness. The fact that Link and Zelda joined Artie and Herkie in being gone forever continues to weighh on me, and it holds me back from being truly excited about another chance. I really do think this will get better once we start stimulating next week, but it obviously will never be the same. I'm a little more jaded now.
I'm frustrated that the miscarriage (that is one of the few times I've actually written that word in relation to what happened) has taken away my ability to be truly happy even if we do get a positive pregnancy test this round. It more just becomes a box to check -- obviously we need to get pregnant to stay pregnant. Not getting to that point would be devastating. But surpassing it won't be unadulterated joy. Rather a shift in anxiety to the next step. I'm sad that I won't be able to shock my parents again with such good news without there being an undercurrent of worry. I tear up when I walk past the empty room, save for one new glider, across from our master bedroom. It was full of boxes and junk just a few months ago, and sometimes I wish we never cleaned it out upon learning we were "successful". I am simultaneously estatic and miserable when I receive the continual birth announcements the past few weeks.
I know everything will be okay, somehow, in the long run. I know that these now 825 days of trying for something that comes so simply to others will be a drop in the bucket at some point. I am still a happy, optimistic person -- in love with my husband, ridiculously thankful for my family and friends, and extremely blessed in so many aspects of life. But, for now, today, I'm still sad. I think it would be abnormal if I wasn't. I just know that "tomorrow" will be better.
We actually made a tough decision to not purchase our meds from our local pharmacy this round. For the first IVF, we looked around a little and decided to pay a little extra (I think it worked out to be about $200-300) to stay local. The other options would be online. We thought it was nice to see an actual person for questions -- and as my fellow local IVFers know -- the pharmacist is the epitome of hilarity. I swear that she could totally get her own reality show dealing with us poor infertiles. She may also be slightly bipolar, but I always left the pharmacy knowing exactly what was going on. We also like supporting local business, and the pharmacy in town that has gotten into the infertility gig is a family-owned place near downtown. We just felt good about it.
But based on some chatter on some of my forums, I did decide to review the online pricing vs the local shop this time -- and we would save over $1,000 by going online. Given that we know so much more about what we are doing now, that was a no-brainer. So sorry lovely town pharmacy; we are at the point that $1,000 means the world to us!
We had our baseline ultrasound yesterday to make sure I was properly suppressed from the birth control and ready for simulations. I had 5-10 follicles ready to grow on one ovary, but less than 5 on the other. If we can get good growth and maturity from those follicles, we'll be fine and dandy, even if they are on the low side to start.
For full disclosure, I'm still struggling with the "unfairness" of it all, for lack of a better term. I alternate between bouts of sadness, anger and bitterness. The fact that Link and Zelda joined Artie and Herkie in being gone forever continues to weighh on me, and it holds me back from being truly excited about another chance. I really do think this will get better once we start stimulating next week, but it obviously will never be the same. I'm a little more jaded now.
I'm frustrated that the miscarriage (that is one of the few times I've actually written that word in relation to what happened) has taken away my ability to be truly happy even if we do get a positive pregnancy test this round. It more just becomes a box to check -- obviously we need to get pregnant to stay pregnant. Not getting to that point would be devastating. But surpassing it won't be unadulterated joy. Rather a shift in anxiety to the next step. I'm sad that I won't be able to shock my parents again with such good news without there being an undercurrent of worry. I tear up when I walk past the empty room, save for one new glider, across from our master bedroom. It was full of boxes and junk just a few months ago, and sometimes I wish we never cleaned it out upon learning we were "successful". I am simultaneously estatic and miserable when I receive the continual birth announcements the past few weeks.
I know everything will be okay, somehow, in the long run. I know that these now 825 days of trying for something that comes so simply to others will be a drop in the bucket at some point. I am still a happy, optimistic person -- in love with my husband, ridiculously thankful for my family and friends, and extremely blessed in so many aspects of life. But, for now, today, I'm still sad. I think it would be abnormal if I wasn't. I just know that "tomorrow" will be better.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Vegas! And a cycle calendar!
We've been back from Vegas for a few days, and I'm so ready to go back. I don't necessarily want to spend more money - or even drink more alcohol - but oh, do I miss that 80 degree weather!!
We had SO MUCH FUN. Like so much, it made me all warm and cozy on the inside by our last day there. (I'm sure the copious amounts of whiskey I drank had nothing to do with that). The only cranky times were first thing in the morning before we had our coffees.
We arrived on Friday, and I was faced with one major concern. There is a two hour time difference between Vegas and home. Our dinner reservations were at 8pm, which was like 10pm here. I had no idea how I was going to stay awake for dinner and after! 10pm is pretty much the latest I go to bed on many nights. So once we watched the end of a basketball game upon arrival, I headed up to our room for a nap. My goal was to stay up until at least midnight Vegas time (spoiler alert: I did!).
The nap was a great idea and then I dressed in my new black dress and awesome leopard print high heels. T wore a dapper linen jacket and we were off for our dinner at Picasso. This was our awesome menu:
The foie gras was my absolute favorite course, and definitely in my top 5 of all time favorite eats. T has the snapper for his main protein (I had the lamb), and he thought it was even better than the foie gras. We both were blown away by the wine paired with the Snapper...it is a spicy white wine from Rioja, Spain. I'm sure if any of you are wine aficionados, your head tilted a bit at the reference to a "spicy" white. It was definitely a unique taste and we ordered some bottles when we got home!
We sat outside on the terrace which is right on the Bellagio lake and saw the fountain show several times throughout dinner. It was definitely magical!
On Saturday night, we wanted an early meal before our 7:30 show (Cirque du Soleil's "O", which was awesome as well), so just sat at the bar at Comme Ça and had this lovely feast (can you tell I was obsessed with food while we were there?):
Our time chatting with the bartender set us up for the coolest part of our trip. We were trying to figure out where to go for a drink after the show. A place with great cocktails, not a club, and we could hear each other speak. The bartender got his cell phone and quietly gave us the phone number of a "secret" speakeasy in downtown Vegas. It only holds 12-15 people, so we were supposed to text the number to see if we could get in. They would then direct us to what ended up being a very unassuming door inside another bar. I actually had read about this place during my research prior to the trip (http://www.vegaschatter.com/story/2012/12/17/18930/664/vegas-travel/Prohibition-Style+Hootch+Is+The+Bee%27s+Knees+In+Vegas) , but it is new enough that no one was yet was giving up the contact details. I imagine it will be readily available soon, but I never in a million years thought we would be lucky enough to have them randomly fall into our lap! I think perhaps there are a couple numbers you can use, with one being the more "private", cool people number? Who knows!
We were able to get in around 10:15 that night, and it was totally perfect. The bar itself sat about 5-people, then there a couple tables nearby. The whole room was smaller than our master bedroom. And NO SMOKING, great music at a reasonable level, and phenomenal drinks. No wine, beer, or flavored vodkas at this place -- just good old fashioned drinks with a modern twist.
We rounded out our day Sunday at Emeril's Stadium at the Palazzo to watch the Big Ten Finals and the tourney selection show. For being an Emeril place, the food was just meh, but the setup is pretty cool! Big TVs, with loungy chairs to put your feet up with a beer. Nice!
Unfortunately, good things must come to an end (and livers must be protected), so we headed home to jump into IVF #3.
I'm still on my BCP and testosterone gel. After about a week, I'll add testosterone patches. No Lupron this time (this is considered an antagonist cycle - all medical mumbo jumbo). I'll start the stimulation drugs the week of April 8th, and then have the retrieval the week after.
I'll admit. I am tired. Somewhat fed up. Just ready to be DONE. I really really hope this is it for us. I'm not sure yet what we'll do if it is not. It is so hard to give up now that we know we can, but I know we may have to get to that point eventually. I just hope this cycle works and takes that decision away from us.
We had SO MUCH FUN. Like so much, it made me all warm and cozy on the inside by our last day there. (I'm sure the copious amounts of whiskey I drank had nothing to do with that). The only cranky times were first thing in the morning before we had our coffees.
We arrived on Friday, and I was faced with one major concern. There is a two hour time difference between Vegas and home. Our dinner reservations were at 8pm, which was like 10pm here. I had no idea how I was going to stay awake for dinner and after! 10pm is pretty much the latest I go to bed on many nights. So once we watched the end of a basketball game upon arrival, I headed up to our room for a nap. My goal was to stay up until at least midnight Vegas time (spoiler alert: I did!).
The nap was a great idea and then I dressed in my new black dress and awesome leopard print high heels. T wore a dapper linen jacket and we were off for our dinner at Picasso. This was our awesome menu:
We sat outside on the terrace which is right on the Bellagio lake and saw the fountain show several times throughout dinner. It was definitely magical!
On Saturday night, we wanted an early meal before our 7:30 show (Cirque du Soleil's "O", which was awesome as well), so just sat at the bar at Comme Ça and had this lovely feast (can you tell I was obsessed with food while we were there?):
 |
| All this was only $30 during happy hour! For oysters, clams, mussels, shrimp and lobster! |
We were able to get in around 10:15 that night, and it was totally perfect. The bar itself sat about 5-people, then there a couple tables nearby. The whole room was smaller than our master bedroom. And NO SMOKING, great music at a reasonable level, and phenomenal drinks. No wine, beer, or flavored vodkas at this place -- just good old fashioned drinks with a modern twist.
We rounded out our day Sunday at Emeril's Stadium at the Palazzo to watch the Big Ten Finals and the tourney selection show. For being an Emeril place, the food was just meh, but the setup is pretty cool! Big TVs, with loungy chairs to put your feet up with a beer. Nice!
Unfortunately, good things must come to an end (and livers must be protected), so we headed home to jump into IVF #3.
I'm still on my BCP and testosterone gel. After about a week, I'll add testosterone patches. No Lupron this time (this is considered an antagonist cycle - all medical mumbo jumbo). I'll start the stimulation drugs the week of April 8th, and then have the retrieval the week after.
I'll admit. I am tired. Somewhat fed up. Just ready to be DONE. I really really hope this is it for us. I'm not sure yet what we'll do if it is not. It is so hard to give up now that we know we can, but I know we may have to get to that point eventually. I just hope this cycle works and takes that decision away from us.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Frustrations (but a new start!)
Let's start with the new start...our next cycle starts today! Yay! I begin my birth control pill today, along with this testosterone gel that I rub on my upper arm. I should get my calendar in the next few days with the specifics on retrieval week and transfer week. I can't decide if I'm optimistic or not. It's certainly a whole new world to know that success is possible. But it's the devil in disguise as well -- it will make failure all the more painful. But I want to think that this one will stick.
Now, the frustrations. Blerg.
Number One: Our results came back today from the tissue analysis. "Normal Female". Now before you get all excited, know this result is essentially synonymous with "Error". The potential results were abnormal (male or female), normal male, or the frustrating "Error". Normal female is not an actual option, because the doctors cannot be certain that the mother's (my) cells didn't taint the sample. So ultimately we know nothing about why the baby didn't survive, and we do not know the sex of the child.
Number Two: T and I needed to sign up for our health benefits last year before we even knew if our transfer would be cancelled or not (it was ultimately cancelled). We went through several scenarios that included doing a frozen, another IVF cycle, having a child, etc, to figure out what benefits were best for us. We finally decided to do a high-deductible health plan, purely because it would max our tax-advantage savings in the HSA. We knew we could use the HSA to help pay for the frozen cycle.
The offset to getting an HSA is to set your deductible fairly high. Then the HSA should help pay the deductible. Unfortunately, we did not plan to have an expensive medical procedure early in the year that should be covered by insurance AFTER the deductible is paid. So the entire D&C, which is in excess of $3,000, is out of pocket for us. That is really a drop in the bucket considering the other costs of our infertility, but is still a huge blow given that the procedure was not a joyful one anyway.
Number 3: Have you noticed that the ads on the internet are more linked than ever to your past browsing history? For example, you look at a fantastic pair of yellow pumps at Zappos, which is not in your budget whatsoever. You then go to an entirely unrelated website, and those pumps will follow you. Taunting you. Buy me, the ad says. You know you want to.
Well, that also works with cribs. Baby room furniture. Nursery bedding. Baby supplies. I go to Bloomberg.com today to read some articles for work, and the specific Land of Nod bedding I liked is staring me down. I know it is a simple deletion of your cookies that would solve this issue, but you don't always remember to do that. There should be a box you check to avoid ads no longer necessary due to loss. You think someone could put two and two together in that case.
But let's put that behind us, and concentrate on the new start. Which kicks off with our Vegas trip this weekend. Hope you have a nice long weekend too!
Now, the frustrations. Blerg.
Number One: Our results came back today from the tissue analysis. "Normal Female". Now before you get all excited, know this result is essentially synonymous with "Error". The potential results were abnormal (male or female), normal male, or the frustrating "Error". Normal female is not an actual option, because the doctors cannot be certain that the mother's (my) cells didn't taint the sample. So ultimately we know nothing about why the baby didn't survive, and we do not know the sex of the child.
Number Two: T and I needed to sign up for our health benefits last year before we even knew if our transfer would be cancelled or not (it was ultimately cancelled). We went through several scenarios that included doing a frozen, another IVF cycle, having a child, etc, to figure out what benefits were best for us. We finally decided to do a high-deductible health plan, purely because it would max our tax-advantage savings in the HSA. We knew we could use the HSA to help pay for the frozen cycle.
The offset to getting an HSA is to set your deductible fairly high. Then the HSA should help pay the deductible. Unfortunately, we did not plan to have an expensive medical procedure early in the year that should be covered by insurance AFTER the deductible is paid. So the entire D&C, which is in excess of $3,000, is out of pocket for us. That is really a drop in the bucket considering the other costs of our infertility, but is still a huge blow given that the procedure was not a joyful one anyway.
Number 3: Have you noticed that the ads on the internet are more linked than ever to your past browsing history? For example, you look at a fantastic pair of yellow pumps at Zappos, which is not in your budget whatsoever. You then go to an entirely unrelated website, and those pumps will follow you. Taunting you. Buy me, the ad says. You know you want to.
Well, that also works with cribs. Baby room furniture. Nursery bedding. Baby supplies. I go to Bloomberg.com today to read some articles for work, and the specific Land of Nod bedding I liked is staring me down. I know it is a simple deletion of your cookies that would solve this issue, but you don't always remember to do that. There should be a box you check to avoid ads no longer necessary due to loss. You think someone could put two and two together in that case.
But let's put that behind us, and concentrate on the new start. Which kicks off with our Vegas trip this weekend. Hope you have a nice long weekend too!
Friday, March 8, 2013
A recipe. For lemons.
It looks like a cold weekend, and then finally we are turning towards the spring with 50s all the way through the end of the forecast. (Although come one week from now, my Las Vegas forecast is 80s. LOVE!!!).
Before my last cycle, I discovered something about myself that I never knew.
I REALLY like whiskey. Especially good whiskey. (Duh). I just pour an ever so small amount in a glass, and I can sip on it all night, warming my insides. T is equally excited to discover this important factoid about himself as well. So he has gone out to buy the makings for whiskey sours, but I still want one last winter warm toddy drink for what is ideally the last winter weekend.
So, my recipe for the lemons life has recently given us?
Whiskey Hot Toddy
1 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
1/4 oz lemon juice
3/4 oz sugar syrup
1 slice lemon
1 clove
4 oz hot water
Yes, yes, and more yes.
Have a great weekend :)
Before my last cycle, I discovered something about myself that I never knew.
I REALLY like whiskey. Especially good whiskey. (Duh). I just pour an ever so small amount in a glass, and I can sip on it all night, warming my insides. T is equally excited to discover this important factoid about himself as well. So he has gone out to buy the makings for whiskey sours, but I still want one last winter warm toddy drink for what is ideally the last winter weekend.
So, my recipe for the lemons life has recently given us?
Whiskey Hot Toddy
1 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
1/4 oz lemon juice
3/4 oz sugar syrup
1 slice lemon
1 clove
4 oz hot water
Yes, yes, and more yes.
Have a great weekend :)
Friday, March 1, 2013
Nothing's changed; Everything's changed
We had our post-op meeting with our RE yesterday. First questions from him were of course related to the d&c. How I did, how I was feeling, etc. I'm lucky that physically the d&c was easy. The nurses felt bad poking me with IVs and taking loads of blood, but I'm an old pro at that now. Then, of course, I'm just knocked out and wake up not even really knowing what happened. I had very little bleeding post-procedure, and very minimal cramping. It barely even happened.
Obviously, emotionally is another story, but we're doing okay. The baby was always conceptual anyway...all I saw were some pink lines and some numbers written on a page showing my blood results. So the loss feels similarly surreal. In the long run, that may be harder as I don't have anything truly physical to cling to, but at this point it makes the recovery a little smoother.
And, as T pointed out, we can get pregnant. Which means we, of course, have to try again. Which sounds exhausting. With IVF #2, we had some drugs left over from IVF #1, so it seemed not as bad. With FET #1, we had an embryo left over, so that was great! This time, we're starting completely from scratch. We are in the same exact place before this all even started. Except now we have this glimmer of hope that something could indeed happen this time.
So, in reality, everything has changed. Even our protocol will be different. I am going to take testosterone and T is going to take more folic acid (among other things for both of us). I think they are preparing us for the big change --- they are going to suggest T carries the baby instead of me. Which will be freaking awesome, and we can get a book and movie deal to pay off all of our previous tries. So keep your fingers crossed for that; I know I will :)
We head to Las Vegas for a little getaway (two weeks from today!!). We are eating at Picasso one night, which I think about every day because I'm so excited. The food is supposed to be amazing, it is right on the water in front of Bellagio, and you are surrounded by actual Picassos on the wall. Plus we pair wine with each course, and God knows I'm taking every advantage of being able to drink right now.
Then I'm just waiting for my next cycle to start. At that point, I start the birth control pills again, as well as this testosterone gel that I'll rub on my arm. Totally weird, right? Assuming my period comes at a fairly normal time (normal is 4-6 weeks after d&c), we should be aiming for late April for it all to go down. T's and my anniversary is on April 29th (we were married the same day as the royals. We planned it first), so this could either result in an amazing present, or we may need to celebrate our anniversary on an entirely different day for all subsequent years. Time will tell....
Obviously, emotionally is another story, but we're doing okay. The baby was always conceptual anyway...all I saw were some pink lines and some numbers written on a page showing my blood results. So the loss feels similarly surreal. In the long run, that may be harder as I don't have anything truly physical to cling to, but at this point it makes the recovery a little smoother.
And, as T pointed out, we can get pregnant. Which means we, of course, have to try again. Which sounds exhausting. With IVF #2, we had some drugs left over from IVF #1, so it seemed not as bad. With FET #1, we had an embryo left over, so that was great! This time, we're starting completely from scratch. We are in the same exact place before this all even started. Except now we have this glimmer of hope that something could indeed happen this time.
So, in reality, everything has changed. Even our protocol will be different. I am going to take testosterone and T is going to take more folic acid (among other things for both of us). I think they are preparing us for the big change --- they are going to suggest T carries the baby instead of me. Which will be freaking awesome, and we can get a book and movie deal to pay off all of our previous tries. So keep your fingers crossed for that; I know I will :)
We head to Las Vegas for a little getaway (two weeks from today!!). We are eating at Picasso one night, which I think about every day because I'm so excited. The food is supposed to be amazing, it is right on the water in front of Bellagio, and you are surrounded by actual Picassos on the wall. Plus we pair wine with each course, and God knows I'm taking every advantage of being able to drink right now.
Then I'm just waiting for my next cycle to start. At that point, I start the birth control pills again, as well as this testosterone gel that I'll rub on my arm. Totally weird, right? Assuming my period comes at a fairly normal time (normal is 4-6 weeks after d&c), we should be aiming for late April for it all to go down. T's and my anniversary is on April 29th (we were married the same day as the royals. We planned it first), so this could either result in an amazing present, or we may need to celebrate our anniversary on an entirely different day for all subsequent years. Time will tell....
Monday, February 18, 2013
Another one from T
I don’t remember ever having been both as excited and nervous as I was that morning of the first ultrasound. Naive optimism. One of us had “Ultrasound” on the calendar and the other had labeled it “See the babies”. As you know by now only one of those was correct. My wife was more worrisome than usual while we sat patiently in the waiting room, but I shrugged it off as simple nerves and nothing else. We eventually were led to our room and the nurse came in to perform the ultrasound. I had my iPhone out and my camera app open getting ready to record the heartbeat of the fruit of so much love and hard work. The nurse was silently staring at the black and white circle for what seemed like hours. That is the part I remember the most, the silence. In reality I am sure it was just a few minutes, but she certainly wasn’t seeing what she expected. We could tell that something wasn’t right, and she went to get another nurse and finally the doctor. They tell us that the little guy stopped developing at some point and that’s about all I can remember them saying. I know they went on about what we can do next or something along those lines, but in my head that same silence took over. I honestly don’t remember much about the rest of that day. I am not sure if it’s due to the numbness or if I am just blocking it all out. Either way calling it one of the worst days of our lives would not be overstating it.
We have since accepted what happened and can talk about it without weeping. There have been more “this is not fair” and “why us” thrown out than I can count. My mother always told me growing up that life isn’t fair, and this is one hell of a showcase for that. Last week we had another ultrasound performed to confirm what we already knew. Nobody was surprised this time and it helped give us some closure before performing a D&C on Friday. Tests have been sent off on the tissue from that surgery, and time may give us an answer to what went wrong. The reality of it is that it was probably just one of those things that happen for no reason. There won’t be an answer and we’ll just have to move on in life.
There is a silver lining in all of this however. WE CAN GET PREGNANT. We had said all along that if this round of IVF didn’t work we were going to start looking at other options such as adoption. We are definitely calling the IVF a success in that regard, however, so we are going to move forward with a third round. A little part of the naivete and excitement has certainly left the building, but we’re also still stupidly optimistic that this will work out in the end. We have to wait a cycle before we can try again though, so logic dictates that we of course must go to Vegas to clear our heads (and maybe have a few glasses of wine), which we will do in less than 4 weeks.
So we are getting ready to go through all of this insanity again hopeful for a positive outcome. If we do see that little pink line on that little stick we are most certainly going to worry ourselves indefinitely. (Has it actually come down to worrying about worrying?) But in the end it will all be worth it.
So we are getting ready to go through all of this insanity again hopeful for a positive outcome. If we do see that little pink line on that little stick we are most certainly going to worry ourselves indefinitely. (Has it actually come down to worrying about worrying?) But in the end it will all be worth it.
A lot of questions were asked over the past few weeks. One of them was “Are we going to be OK?” It is an amazing feeling to know the answer to that question without having to hear it. I can certainly see how going through something like this could break people and relationships and marriages. I honestly think that it has made us stronger. I am very proud to say that I am in love with the strongest woman in the world. She makes me smile just thinking about her and I can’t imagine making this journey with anyone else. Although I still wish this journey was more like a weekend road trip and less seeing how many times we can circle the globe.
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