Friday, March 1, 2013

Nothing's changed; Everything's changed

We had our post-op meeting with our RE yesterday.  First questions from him were of course related to the d&c.  How I did, how I was feeling, etc.  I'm lucky that physically the d&c was easy.  The nurses felt bad poking me with IVs and taking loads of blood, but I'm an old pro at that now.  Then, of course, I'm just knocked out and wake up not even really knowing what happened.  I had very little bleeding post-procedure, and very minimal cramping.  It barely even happened.

Obviously, emotionally is another story, but we're doing okay.  The baby was always conceptual anyway...all I saw were some pink lines and some numbers written on a page showing my blood results.  So the loss feels similarly surreal.  In the long run, that may be harder as I don't have anything truly physical to cling to, but at this point it makes the recovery a little smoother.

And, as T pointed out, we can get pregnant.  Which means we, of course, have to try again.  Which sounds exhausting.  With IVF #2, we had some drugs left over from IVF #1, so it seemed not as bad.  With FET #1, we had an embryo left over, so that was great!  This time, we're starting completely from scratch.  We are in the same exact place before this all even started.  Except now we have this glimmer of hope that something could indeed happen this time. 

So, in reality, everything has changed.  Even our protocol will be different.  I am going to take testosterone and T is going to take more folic acid (among other things for both of us).  I think they are preparing us for the big change --- they are going to suggest T carries the baby instead of me.  Which will be freaking awesome, and we can get a book and movie deal to pay off all of our previous tries.  So keep your fingers crossed for that; I know I will :)

We head to Las Vegas for a little getaway (two weeks from today!!).  We are eating at Picasso one night, which I think about every day because I'm so excited.  The food is supposed to be amazing, it is right on the water in front of Bellagio, and you are surrounded by actual Picassos on the wall.  Plus we pair wine with each course, and God knows I'm taking every advantage of being able to drink right now.

Then I'm just waiting for my next cycle to start.  At that point, I start the birth control pills again, as well as this testosterone gel that I'll rub on my arm.  Totally weird, right?  Assuming my period comes at a fairly normal time (normal is 4-6 weeks after d&c), we should be aiming for late April for it all to go down.  T's and my anniversary is on April 29th (we were married the same day as the royals.  We planned it first), so this could either result in an amazing present, or we may need to celebrate our anniversary on an entirely different day for all subsequent years.  Time will tell....

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