Sunday, July 21, 2013

Counting down until active

I forgot to post last week as well and say that my beta was 31 as of last Monday (about 7 weeks after the miscarriage).  Thank goodness it is on its way down finally!  I need to go back tomorrow for another blood draw, and I am hoping, wishing, praying that I will be completely done at that point.  I was kind of hoping I'd just get my period before tomorrow and we could call it all square, but no such luck.  And I still shake my head in wonderment that I am wanting my period to come badly, and it is not because I'm anxious to start another cycle.  My, how we change.

T and I have about 5 pictures left to take today, and then we are done with everything we need to do before going active.  I talked to our chica at the agency, and she said, barring any issues, to plan on the first week or so of August.  Woo hoo!  Here is the lowdown on our text/online profile:

The picture portion:  
This is the point where my comments are very agency specific.  The home study is a little more generic, but every agency will have its own method on how to present you to potential birth moms.  Our agency works with you to create a profile of pictures and text that will be put online, as well as printed out to send to birth moms that "match" you based on your questionnaire.

We had to send 50-100 pictures in the following categories:

  • 8-10 photos of you and your spouse, with children if applicable
  • 8-10 close-up photos of just you and your spouse
  • 2-5 photos of your home
  • 2-5 photos of neighborhood (park, elementary school, gathering places, pool, etc)
  • 2-4 photos of extended family/friends
  • 8-10 holiday/vacation photos
  • 8-10 photos of husband only doing his hobbies
  • 8-10 photos of wife only doing her hobbies
  • 4-10 hobby photos without people in them
  • any other miscellaneous photos
Overwhelmed yet?  How many pictures do you have of you "doing your hobbies"?  Weird, right?  And the biggest kicker that pretty much disqualified all of our photos is that none can have alcohol in them.  Not that we are huge lushes, but there is normally a glass of wine or a beer in front of us if we're taking a picture while we are out.  No one whips out the camera on that special night that you're sitting with your chocolate milk in front of the fire place.  But special anniversary with wine shipped in from Napa?  Pictures abound.  This is the part that honestly has taken us forever.  

The text portion:
Then, to go along with the pictures, you have to write essays on the following:

  • 150-250 words on your house/community
  • 150-250 words on your extended family
  • Then, they have a bunch of different categories for other essays (there were probably about 20 choices).  You write 6-9 of those, and then they choose 2-3 to put in your profile.  These are 100-250 words and we wrote about:
    • Our pets
    • Our life priorities
    • Education we will provide
    • What it means to be parents
    • What we do in our leisure time
    • Our religious beliefs
    • Our children
    • Qualities we love, admire and respect in each other
    • How we will tell the child about his/her adoption
  • Last is the "letter to the birthparents".  This is 500-700 words and just kind of wraps everything together.  
This part was so hard.  You have so much emotion and sincerity when writing them, but you worry if that is coming through correctly.  After awhile, everything seems so generic and forced.  We really thought long and hard about these, and I'm hoping our personality and commitment shines through in the end.  

I think once we are active, I'm going to take a week long nap.  This was exhausting!  



  1. Hi from ICLW! That list is definitely exhausting. Good luck!

  2. Hi from ICLW as well. This is a monumental task! I hope that it all goes smoothly for you. :)

    1. I appreciate your well wishes!

  3. Found your blog from ICLW! It does sound like a lot to get done. Good luck as you start tackling your list. :)

  4. Pretty exhaustive!

    I am glad you tackled it well, and you were approved. Good Luck!

    I love what you have said about "when life gives you lemons..."


  5. Hey, I am hoping your body normalizes soon. Just read your while history.

    1. No kidding, right? Who knew that I would give anything to not get positive pregnancy tests anymore. I guess it isn't interesting if it isn't crazy weird :)

  6. so exciting that you are becoming active so soon!! Can't wait to read about the next chapter.

    1. Thank you - thanks for keeping up with us!

  7. Here from ICLW! The profile can be so daunting! We had similar guidelines, but it was up to us to put it all together in a booklet form and have professionally printed on cardstock. It took us FOREVER to complete. ;) As far as the pictures with alcohol go, we used plenty that had it in there, but we cropped them like crazy. One of my favorites of my hubby is from tailgating at a football game...major cropping. ;) If you'd like a link to where we adopted through, drop me an email ( There are tons of profiles on there to browse through and get ideas when you get stuck. Good luck with it all!

    1. Thank you! We are lucky (read: paying for) that our agency will do all the editing and printing, which is nice. They try to keep the profiles online pretty consistent, so we don't have much leeway in design. But that also means less work, which is welcome!

  8. OH MY GOODNESS! That's insane. Not only is that so overwhelming for you to gather and write it all but imagine looking through all this to determine whom you want to bless with a miracle. I think all this information would confuse me! You deserve a vacation (and a drink) after all that is finished! Good luck crossing things off your list, hey - maybe it will actually be fun to gather all that! I love the memories in pictures! Looking forward to following your journey!

    Here from ICLW!

    1. Thanks - I'm taking my drinks along the way too, so that helps!

  9. Visiting from ICLW -- my gosh, what an extensive list! It sounds completely exhausting, but will be worth it in the end, I'm sure. I wish you the best of luck in crossing everything off the list (and in getting a much-needed vacation/rest at the end of it all)! I look forward to following you!

  10. Hi from ICLW! All the best on hormonal balance. Oh my goodness gracious! That is quite a list! How do you deal with it? Just looking at it made my heart skip beats! You sound like you are taking it in strides:)

    1. Lists. Lots and lots of checklists :)

  11. hi!! glad you stopped by, hope this list is going well, it's an extensive one ;)


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