Tuesday, February 28, 2012

From T...

My wife has asked me to write a little something as a guest spot for her blog.  At first I thought it might not be a good idea, but when she told me that I didn’t have a choice it started seeming like a better option.  If you’ve read her blog up through now you know how fun/exciting/intense/horrifying this whole process is.  I would like to say that as the male it’s been a walk in the park, but sadly that’s not the case at all.
The hardest part about this whole thing has been trying to keep up with the lingo that accompanies this.  Apparently there was some secret meeting where all of the women got together and decided to come up with a special IVF language.  No men were allowed and no translations were made public.  Here is an example of a sentence using IVF language: “My DH and I are now 8dp5dt with our first beta this weekend hoping for a BFP!”  If you were able to read that cohesively then you are either a woman going through IVF or a woman thinking about going through IVF.  I am quite sure that our doctor would have no idea what that even says.
Another huge challenge was having to drink non-alcoholic beer during the Super Bowl.  That’s all I am going to write about that as it’s still too hard to think about without bursting into tears.
You would think that poking your wife in the rear with a needle would be fun.  It can feel a bit like revenge for all of the times that she was right about something and you didn’t want to admit it.  Outside of that it is not a lot of fun at all and I dreaded it each time I had to do it.  Fortunately she got switched off of that pretty quickly so I got let off of the hook.  Of course now when she is right about something (usually involving the female anatomy or past conversations we’ve had that I’ve forgotten) I have no sense of payback.
As much as I can complain about any part of the process up until now, at least there was always a next step and a light to keep working towards.  We’re now at the point that everything that can be done has been, and we get to wait and see if it all worked.  Having no next step and nothing else we can do is horrifying to say the least.  I’ll save the details for my wife to write about, but let’s just say the fear of the unknown is beginning to have a stranglehold on us both.  We certainly have our fingers crossed that this is a miracle and does work, but at the same time we’re beginning to research next steps and potential other options.
After all of that complaining the obvious question is would I go through it again knowing what I know now?  The answer would be a resounding yes.  Having said that, if this doesn’t work this time around we may decide to choose a different path depending on what we hear back from our doc.  As a bit of a gambler I think this has definitely been worth the $15,000 wager we made.  This is high stakes poker to be sure, but the potential payout will keep us coming back every time.  Especially with my wife.  I love and admire my wife so very much.  She's the bestest there ever was in fact.  I am so terribly lucky to be with her every day of my life.

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