Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Of course this would be in Iowa too.

A fellow blogger at Who Shot Down My Stork said it best (and the comments):

Basically the gist is that a couple (in Iowa, of course, the video in the link was actually from a local news channel that made it onto CNN) that has three healthy biological children, decided to "adopt" some frozen embryos, because they were so sad that these were just "thrown away".  And there are just so many out there waiting to be adopted (sarcasm heavy when I read that out loud).  They transferred two, one split, and so they had three more kids.  And they are regarded as heroes for basically saving these embryos.


Embryo adoption is a fairly new land, and should become more commonplace going forward. So, yes, there are probably a lot of embryos right now.  Many many infertile want-to-be-parents are deciding that is the best route for them.  It would have been a potential route for us, as theoretically T's and my chromosomes don't mix well.

But, I'm sorry, why is a couple who can easily have another kid by jumping in the sack with their spouse basically taking away the parenthood opportunity from someone else?  If they wanted to save the world, shouldn't they adopt actual living children that need a home?  Especially the older children that are more difficult to place? 

I'm not delusional enough to think that we are saving the world by wanting to adopt an infant.  While it will ideally be a "win-win" situation, in which we are giving the child a home they wouldn't otherwise have, we are also completely selfish.  We want a baby.  For us. For our family.  If that wasn't the case, and we only had completely altruistic motives, then we would be foster parents for older children and teens.  Because that is where the need is.  Not for infants.  Not for embryos. That is why the waiting list is so flipping long for adopting an infant. 

If you want to save the world, at least know where the world needs saving.

And, on the other side, of course, is that they would get pregnant and have three kids.  Most of us hope for just one, and some (this girl) never get any.  We transferred six embryos over the course of treatments.  Four never implanted, and two left us before 7 weeks.  But they pop two in and get three out.  Obviously.

I'm just mad.


  1. I'm so torn about this entire thing. While I'm happy that there is more media coverage about things like this, in hopes (well at least mine,) that IF will not be so taboo, I wish the media got their facts right.

    I agree with you, I wish the media hadn't portrayed this couple as people who were saving the world. This is just my opinion of course, but I think it would have been more beneficial to the couple and the adoptive child for them to have adopted an already living child, especially, like you said, an older child who is much more difficult to place, then a bunch of cells (sorry if that sounds harsh.) I have a hard time saying that, because I feel like it's similar to the very popular idea behind the "why don't you just adopt?" question. Why bring three more babies into this world when there are thousands of living children waiting for homes? I guess I would be more understanding if the mother wasn't able to carry her own children before, I think that the feeling of carrying a child is something every woman should be able to experience if she wants to, whether that be through her own child, or embryo adoption. However, since this woman has three of her own children already, I find it hard to be sympathetic with her in her wants to birth the embryos.

    I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense, and I really hope I'm not offending anyone. I have a lot of respect for those who are willing to go through the trials and heartache of adoption, whether they adopt an infant, and older child, or embryo adoption. I just wish the media wouldn't portray it like it does.

    1. And like always, sorry for the novel of a comment.

  2. I haven't heard anything about that, but unless something pops up on my cnn app, I pretty much avoid all the rest of the news.

    The whole hero mentality is completely lost on me. Are they going to always tell their children how "lucky" they were to be saved? Crazy and wrong in every sense. All adoption issues aside (I agree with everything you said) it makes me crazy that the message sent to the general public about IVF is that 1) everyone gets as many babies as they want and 2) the rest are disposable. Seriously screwed up...


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