Monday, March 5, 2012

My Best Friend

When my husband and I got married, our pastor had us write letters to each other to read on the big day.  He actually handed them to us immediately after the service, and I remember feeling like I didn't really get a chance to absorb the whole letter before being swept away with the excitement of just being married and moving on to the reception.

In moving around some items in our extra bedroom, I again found the letter, and it reminded me of why I love my marriage so much.  He began the letter with a quote from C.S. Lewis (of Narnia fame) that he felt would apply to us then and throughout the rest of our lives.  I think I ended up writing this post just to share this beautiful quote.  I sincerely hope that anyone who has a significant other, Christian or not, can cherish this as well:

"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing.  There are many things below it, but there are also things above it.  You cannot make it the basis of a whole life.  It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling...Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings can come and go...but, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love.  Love in this second sense - love as distinct from "being in love" - is not merely a feeling.  It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God..."Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity; this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.  It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run; being in love was the explosion that started it."

While I still consider myself to be madly "in love" with my husband, it is the foundation of the quieter love that I'm relying on in this time of defeat.  I cannot be disappointed with what I do not have, as what I do have is the greatest blessing I can imagine.  My husband is absolutely my best friend and my favorite person.

Even if one doesn't have a significant other, I hope everyone has at least one strong person in their life that acts as their greatest friend and confidante.  Whether it be a parent (which I am lucky enough to have TWO amazing and supportive parents), a sibling (which I am lucky enough to have one hipster bro - who views my blog as the epitome of "tl;dr" - but I know has my back in any situation), or other friends and family (which I am lucky enough to have completely awesome groups of both), ensure that you appreciate that person and tell them how important they are to you.  Because you are so lucky to have him/her/them in your life, and they should know that every day.

Lest you get jealous and think that my husband is better than your significant other, think again.  My husband isn't perfect.  He farts more often than I think should be physically possible in a human.  He dances in the kitchen by making jazz hands and shaking his hips like he's using a hula hoop.  He snores louder than anyone I have ever heard -- and along with that, he makes weird chimpanzee sounds in his sleep that keep me awake despite wearing ear plugs.  And once he reads this, he'll shake his head in a mix of 5% embarrassment and 95% strange misguided pride.  But, most importantly, he is MY perfect and I cannot wait to be with him the rest of my life whether or not we ever have children together.

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