Miracles & stereotypes

Well, hello there, blogland.  It's been awhile.  Funny how babies keep you busy :)  Audrey is almost 4 months old, weighs almost 13 pounds, and is pretty much the best thing ever.  I mean, obviously, look at her:

mmmmm....giraffes...nom, nom, nom

She really is a miracle.  There is truly no other way to describe her.  God has big plans for this little lady.  There is absolutely a reason H&P brought her into the world, and certainly that T & I are raising her.  She is loved so unbelievably much.

That being said, T and I were pretty stressed in the weeks after we adopted Audrey.  The adoption went so well, Audrey's birth family was so wonderful, AUDREY was so wonderful...how in the world could we hope to ever replicate that?  We were lost and confused; we didn't ever want to do IVF again, and now we were fairly certain that we didn't want to adopt again.  T had an easier time saying this out loud than I did.  If I verbalized it, even though I felt it deep down, I took away all the known options we had for a sibling for Audrey.  While a sibling for her wasn't required, it was so very important to me.  It was a strange thing to be worried about while finding your place with a newborn baby, but it was forefront in my mind.  In a way, it was more stressful than our initial struggles with infertility.  At least then, both IVF and adoption were options.  We now had taken those options away from ourselves...and what were we left with??

Turns out we were left with more miracles.  We had wondered what God's plan was for so long, and now that it is presenting itself, it is more magical than I ever imagined.

We are almost 11 weeks pregnant.

ELEVEN WEEKS.

Holy shit.

We were trying.  We were NOT relaxed. Not necessarily thinking it would come to fruition, but it was all we had left.  No infertility treatments.  No drugs.  Just prayers.

So we've now become that stereotype that everyone always points to.  In reality, a study showed that less than 10% of couples that adopt after infertility go on to have biological children.  We were told we had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant on our own.  We always came out on the unlikely end of the probabilities before.  Finally, it was happening in the most wonderful, awesome, incredible way.

They will be 10 months apart.

TEN MONTHS.

Double holy shit!!

We're still not totally in the "safe zone" of the second trimester.  But we've had two ultrasounds with beautiful heartbeats, and heard the heartbeat with the Doppler.  My placenta has taken over the production of progesterone that likely plagued my body in the past when I was blasting myself via shots to the rear.  We should be in the clear.  Or, at least, we are normal at this point.  Horrible things could still happen, but the likelihood should be the same for us as it is the other people.  Hopefully we end up with the majority this time.

We told Audrey's birth parents and they were elated for us.  I cried when I read their email (damn hormones!), as having their support meant so much to me.  Our families are thrilled.  Our friends are thrilled.  We are awestruck still.

This blog has been such an awesome outlet for me during our journey over the past years.  Both my husband and I go back and read our ups and downs, and we relive both with equal emotion.  Thank you so incredibly much for letting me share this with you.  Now that we're seeing the end of that journey (and still are at the beginning of the most beautiful one - parenthood), I'm not sure I have more to say.  I'm not planning on covering the pregnancy here; there are plenty of weekly/monthly pregnancy updates out there.  I want to live in the moment and cherish every second with my now growing family.  I'll maybe post an update here or there, maybe when the baby is born.

So this seems like an appropriate time to bid blogland adieu as our lives have morphed in ways I could have never fathomed.  I wish you nothing but the best possible life, and I can only hope that you find and experience the miracles in your life as we have had in ours.  Thank you for all you have done for me.

Carrie :)