Thursday, February 7, 2013

Just the facts

We ended up going today for our first ultrasound (basically I asked, and received -- who knew that it would be that easy?)

However, the news is not good.

The first nurse looked at the gestational sac for what seemed like forever.  She did not say a word.  Just moving the wand and looking.  Moving and looking.  I thought I could see things, but I had no idea what to look for.

She said there did not appear to be a heartbeat.  She went and got the head nurse.

That nurse did the same.  Moving the wand and looking.  She wanted the doctor to come and confirm, and he did as well.  There is no heartbeat.  They couldn't pinpoint the time the baby stopped developing.  The yolk sac appeared to be disintegrating, so they couldn't do exact measurements.  We asked if there was any chance of viability and were told no.

They left us alone and we cried a lot.

We will do a D&C a week from tomorrow.  They will do a last ultrasound that day to ensure a miracle didn't occur, but had zero confidence that would happen.

My heart is broken.

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