Friday, August 3, 2012

I'm ready for IVF

We did our fourth (and last!!!!) IUI this morning.  I will officially let the world know that I unequivocally hate Clomid.  I hate IUI.  I hate monitoring sperm counts.  I'm not sure someone could pay me to do this again.  My body will thank me profusely when this damn Clomid is out of my system.

I'm still hoping for a miracle, as I do every other two-week increment, but I'm looking forward to our likely upcoming IVF cycle.  We'll take a month off after this cycle, and then start up again after that.  Ignoring the financial aspect, I really love IVF (relative to IUI).  There is more rigor behind it, and it appeals to my analytical side much more so than IUI.  The stages are better defined, and you can actually pinpoint where the issue may be (such as implantation).  That doesn't mean you can necessarily solve that issue, but the knowing aspect is a huge relief.   With IUI, I just feel that we throw a bunch of crap at the wall to see what sticks.

While this TTC madness is ridiculously life and relationship consuming, T and I do have an existence outside of it (although sometimes that is hard for us to believe).   We attended my stepdaughter's band concert last night, which was SO much better than the last one where we heard more squeaks than audible on-key notes.  She is an amazingly awesome and accomplished girl and I couldn't be prouder of her.  Her tween angst is starting to shine through though, so we'll have to keep a look out for that.   I only have to think back my own tween/teen years, and I then consider myself adequately forewarned.

Our August is chock full of family, friends, and fun.  We'll have multiple visitors over the next several weeks, are attending some concerts, and just are generally looking forward to some respite from the insane temperatures of the last month.  I'll be honest.  Sometimes, T and I have to consciously remind ourselves how truly good we have it.  Almost all of our friends are in the midst of baby mania of their own in some way or another, and it can be easy to dwell on the fact that we have been so unlucky in that area thus far.  In reality, our lives are so permeated with love from each other, our extended families and our awesome friends, that it sometimes seems petty to ask for even more.  But that one small thing that we desire is truly the biggest thing that would ever happen in our lives, so we'll keep on truckin'.

The most fabulous news on this Friday is that we have NO plans tonight.  We were meant to hang out with some friends, but switched it to a different weekend since we were unsure if our IUI would be today or tomorrow.  So, friends, while we love you, we are greatly looking forward to some T and C time.  Wine will be flowing, grill will be grilling, and big screen basement TV will likely be playing an awesome movie.

(On the movie note, we watched a REALLY good movie this week.  If you like creepy, but not scary, movies, and can handle foreign films, rent "The Orphanage (El Orfanato)".  It's in Spanish, and is a technically a ghost story, but is ultimately about how much a mother loves her adopted son.  I totally cried and thought it was great).

Have a phenomenal weekend!  I keep promising an adoption post, and I have one percolating in my head, but I'm not quite ready to get thoughts to paper (screen) on that one yet.  So sometime soon...

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