Easter is a phenomenal day to count your blessings. And no matter what is going on in one's life, we can all always find a reason to be thankful.
We went to Easter service yesterday and the sermon (by Pastor Mike, so I imagine more than half of the people who read this blog know which sermon this would be) was one that really made you feel so full of life. There was this string that was hanging all around the room, attached to the ceiling every so often, so it hung down like a string of lights would be. The string then went outside the Worship Center, through the hallways of the church (and this is a LARGE church), even outside along the side of the building. When it was all said and done, this string, if laid out straight, was likely in excess of a mile long. The string was meant to represent life in total - not just our life here on Earth, but humanity before us and after us, as well as the eternal life we have when we die.
Pastor Mike, near the end of the sermon, pulled the string down by his head and made a mark about an inch long with a black marker. This mark represented our earthly life. He spoke on how small it was in relation to the string as a whole, and what a gift it was that God gave us eternal life. It brought tears to my eyes, as I felt so extremely blessed and happy in my belief that my life is so much bigger than the struggles of any one period.
Now, no matter what your religious beliefs, I think we can all agree that life is short and limited here on Earth. And while most people would also agree that actual immortality is not all that appealing, I think each of us wants to feel that we impacted humanity in some major way. And I honestly feel that we do that through our children. If we're not Steve Jobs or Albert Einstein, our most major contribution is the children we raise and nurture, who then continue the gift down the line. And our ancestors will each make their mark in their own way, but they would not have existed without the parents that rose to the job throughout time (whether biologically or through adoption).
So while his sermon made me happy, it also reminded me of why I do want children so much. It is selfish; I want to live forever both here and in Heaven (ideally!) when I die. I want immortality in as many ways possible. Except the ones that involve me becoming a vampire or a zombie or something. I can definitely pass on that.
So with all that emotion stuff out of the way, here is where we are sitting now. T quit cycling after our WTF appointment several weeks ago. He went in for a new sample last week, and his numbers doubled to 7.5 million! Which still sucks in the world of sperm analysis, but is still a huge improvement. The doctor was hesitant to call it a trend that could continue without further samples. So T is staying off the bike through the end of this month, and will try it again to see if the number improved further. It seems unlikely we'd get to a point where we didn't need medical help, but perhaps IUI would be an option. If it isn't, then we'll start another IVF round by about the end of April.
We're a little peeved that the cycling issue wasn't pushed prior to our initial IVF, but we can't look backward and need to focus on our opportunities that are around the corner. The good news is that they froze the last sample, so we're good to go on another IVF round should any issues occur between now and then.
It is a fantastic, beautiful day here, and T and I are going to enjoy our new deck furniture, some leftover Soup from E!, and probably a couple of nice brewskies or glasses of vino. No matter what is going on, it is certainly a great day to be alive :)
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